Right now I "walker"...one of these days I will walk again. At least my arms are getting strong from the walker.
I have some of the nicest neighbors...all the cards I got as the word spread about my ankle. So nice how so many noticed I was not out and about as usual.
Tanya R. and all of her excellent cooking/meals that she shared with us, all while she herself heals from a broken shoulder that happened a couple weeks before my break. She makes me and Marshall laugh...and she is going through the same "slow as a sloth progress" (her words).
Ursula also in a "boot" gave me cookies. Wow.
Mary S. lent me the cadillac of walkers, and even brought it to our door.
Nicole, who just moved across the street brought us a wonderful enchilada meal, and I only met her once!
Even women on the internet that I met back on MySpace/LJ around the country/world, have shared their experiences with me.
And long lost acquaintance Janet G.... Janet G. heard about it and came out from my past after decades of having lost touch with her to send 3 cards, offers of lending equipment and email advice...I'm so touched.
Even my neighbors from my old neighborhood- Janie and Deb send me a nice card.
Friends- Theodore, Francine, Ed all with flowers, balloons, a fresh dates sampler from California, and another walker for the 2nd floor.
There are a lot of nice people out there. I' surrounding myself with positive people and letting the negative ones go off and be miserable without me to blame.
Pain, pain, pain. Everyday, but that's what it takes to heal. Stretching and weight bearing is what it is all about. Over 50 days of not using those muscles/tendons,ligaments, whatever. So... patience...and enduring pain is the only way to ever walk again.
Later... Oh my I just found one of my favorite woodland/shade plants on my porch that someone left for me, but it was so dried up and most likely down to the roots. Just incase I soaked it and put it on the window sill and will still plant the roots incase there is a drop of life left to it. Damn. It would have looked something like this. And I don't even know who to thank.
Yesterday: She was a long part of my life story...but I'm over and done with Jody. It took me over a year and a half to finish that chapter in my life. No more feelings of betrayal- because she no longer matters to me. Just not my cup of tea anymore. I feel free.
Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
I have made two little phrases my mantra:
"Any little bit of progress is progress." - Janet Gunter's words "My super-power is a positive attitude." - me
My life now consists of daily pain to relearn how to walk again. Walking on a foot so swollen it dimples. (yes the doctor said it was normal put weight on it) A calf muscle that vanished as my leg laid still for the bones to heel. Messed up tendons and ligaments, and muscles, and a knee that was injured and I'm not even sure how badly, as it wasn't even addressed with all the attention on broken bones.
Today I did my own physical therapy at home for an hour and 45 minutes. (First appointment for PT has waiting list of two weeks, so I'm on my own until then)
I could look at this as depressing as hell. Or I could look at it as a major accomplishment doing what I did today for 1 hr. and 45 min. I actually impressed myself. No I still can't walk, and the weight I'm putting on it is probably half of 1% but I'm doing it, damn it.
I waver in and out of having a positive perspective. So along with needing daily physical therapy- I need daily mental therapy.
I don't know where I will be in a year. Walking a little but never the same they all tell me.
Life is simply unpredictable. Life takes sharp turns. And as Marshall says, "When anyone looks back at their past, it reads like a well written novel."
Life is like that. And it's all about our perspective. Like these photos of the very same Buddha. My little Buddha looks so different depending on the perspective it is viewed in.
But I must remember 10 days ago I could not lay my ankle on the pillow out of the boot in any manner, but now I can do it even on the side with the stitches and metal plate and pins... a bit.
Optimism is my superpower...and a healthy diet. Negativity & worry continually invade my thoughts, but I will not dwell there and I will keep moving forward even if that means every step forward in waiting for bones and tendons to heal -is also a step backwards with muscles and knee joint deteriorating.
I hold my head up just enough to see the sky And when we go we won't go slow, we'll put up such a fight When they fade into the dust and into ash But all the children know for sure this pain will surely pass Strong and wise and you are love And when the tide it comes you will float above And you will be one day exactly what you are Just keep your head held high, kiss your fist and touch the sky
I reference their websites, and sometimes even order from them but the magazines are what I love to browse.
Notable plant of the year for me is Black & Blue Salvia. So far so good with this zone 7 plant coming up this spring after going through a Pittsburgh winter. Hope it survives this winter also. Still blooming like crazy and it's October!
(This photo was from summer, I just haven't photographed it in October, but it's full of blooms, notice the hummingbird which has already migrated late August.)
I had planned on buying a ton of purple crocus to tuck into the pachysandra this autumn but that's off due to my broken ankle. Maybe next year.
Who are Alecia & Reidy-Deitra? Two young girls one summer long ago around 9th and 10th grade. Gail was Alecia and I was Reidy-Deitra.
I do remember so clearly, we were at the Wyngate pool, the sun was going down, and we had bonded recently. We were both pretty imaginative and decided it would be fitting to re-name ourselves. Nothing we ever expected someone else to call us but sort of a secret between us.... A girl code, something to put on notes, something that sparked our imagination.
Later at that same pool a memorable scene:
An "Unfriendly Popular Girl" had recently asked me to tie her shoe at the school bus stop. Being nice & innocent I didn't ask why, I just bent down and tied her shoe.
I guess I had told this story to Alecia aka Gail and she must have filed it away under things to remember.
Alecia aka Gail was a grade younger than me but way more worldly than me.
So...now, the "Unfriendly Popular Girl" is in the Wyngate pool, trying to read the clock on the wall.
Gail and I are leaning against the wall under the clock. The "unfriendly popular girl" says "can you tell me what time it is?" And I start to move to look up at the clock above our heads. Gail, puts a hand on me to not move and responds, "I'm sorry, I can't see the clock from here."
Alecia aka Gail had lifted the curse of passive aggressive dominance and humiliation by the "Unfriendly Popular Girl" from me- aka Reidy-Deitra -with that one small sentence.
Day 41 with broken ankle. The external fixator looked like a torture device- but I'm convinced the innocent looking boot cast is the the real torture device. And recently I have a new awareness of how truly saturated the world is with liars, cheaters and thieves.
I've been thinking for a while That I should fly Tired of walking on my feet They're so tired They're so tired
The brown shoes are old and the ground is hard and the view is much nicer from the sky
From up in the sky they're just people But from here they're liars, cheaters and thieves
From up in the sky they're just people But from here they're liars, cheaters and thieves
All I know is my appointment to remove the external pin fixator and then get a boot cast is September 30th....at an undisclosed location at the enormous UPMC hospital at an undisclosed time...don't worry they will call the afternoon before.
You can't reach anyone via the phone with any answers or question for anything...and phone-trees are the only trees I frigg'n hate. (press one if you want to be on the phone for 10 minutes pressing other numbers on our phone tree that will lead to more recorded prompts to push more numbers.)
My esoteric appointment reminds me of the first rule of a Rave Party:
1. This party does not exist.
Do not post the address of this party on your frat house's Facebook wall. Do not tweet it. Do not instagram a photo of the facade of this warehouse. Do not invite a bunch of strangers. Do not invite anyone. The people you want to see will most likely already be there, waiting for you. This party does not exist. If it did, it would certainly be over with sooner than you'd like. Have some respect for the people who sneak around and plan these nonexistent parties by quietly allowing them to continue keeping the underground alive. source-http://www.citypages.com/music/top-10-rules-of-the-rave-a-guide-to-underground-dance-party-etiquette-6648523
This stone was once a part of the ornamental facade of The Saybrook Apartments in Oakland at Craft Avenue and Kennett Square. And this old architectural stone has a twin.
And the twins had been separated since April 1984 when The Saybrook Apartments were demolished. One twin lived in a garden on Winthrop Street in Oakland. The other twin lived in a garden on Parkman Avenue in Schenley Farms, Oakland. Flash ahead to September 2016 and the twin stones were reunited once again in a garden on Lytton Avenue in Schenley Farms...thanks to the generosity of my nice neighbor Barbara B.
My plan is to use them side by side in my future garden wall where the iron gate entrance will be. Maybe that's just a dream, I don't know... but it's a nice dream to have.
Funny how life is...and inanimate objects move around via humans. I bet a lot of antiques have a strange little history like these twin stones.
For years I've been looking for a photo of The Saybrook (an old article from 1919 say it was formerly Buckingham Apartments,. I found newspaper ads that had it listed as Buckingham in 1907 and Saybrook by 1909 , but I have a vague memory of Saybrook in stone above the door...am I imagining that?)
The only photo I can find is this one, during one of the many fires that cursed this grand old apartment building. So far fires in 1943, 1966 (two), 1979, 1980...but considering it had hundreds of people living in it and was around since at least 1903 and maybe earlier, not that unusual.
Some of the ornamental stones can be seen above the windows in this photo, which is the side of the building- not the front which would have had the most ornamentation.
I was in The Saybrook once, it had to be the late 1970s because it had it's last fire November 13, 1980. Then demolished in 1984. It had seen better days, and I was young and not looking for clues of it's once great beauty, just looking for a birthday party, that Marshall and I were invited to. But one thing I do remember was it's super wide hallways, 15-18 feet wide and each apartment had a screen door to the hall. Those features were grand yet quaint, because those kind of big homey architectural details in apartment living are long gone.